Our Story (as told by Peter)
I met Malia in the spring of 2022 shortly after she moved to the city. We met at our church. In one of our first conversations, I learned that Malia worked in finance so I asked her if she reads Money Stuff (a newsletter about interesting and funny financial news). I had asked many people that question in the past, but Malia was the first person who already knew about and read Money Stuff. That was the first of many common interests that we discovered we shared.
Later in 2022 Malia joined the small group that I helped to lead. It was in the context of our small group that we grew to be friends.
In 2024, we started to develop feelings for each other over the course of the year. While I knew I had feelings for Malia, I also did not want to risk our friendship by dating. In December I invited Malia to be my plus one at my company’s holiday party at the California Academy of Sciences museum. I swear I did not have ulterior motives for inviting Malia; I just thought she would be a fun plus one. But in this date-like environment, I could feel the sparks fly.
Even though Peter says he didn't invite me as a date, it was a confusing signal for me. Before the party I was pretty nervous because I thought "this is my chance, I can't blow it!" When we were at the holiday party I was introduced to one of his coworkers who ended up asking us "how are you... related?" Peter introduced me as his friend, which was technically accurate, but also confusing.
I had such a fun time that night.
Malia asked me to get drinks with her the next week at a bar we had both been wanting to try. On that night she told me she had feelings for me. I suggested that we go on a walk around the neighborhood to talk about it. I told Malia that I also had feelings for her but that I was worried about jeopardizing our friendship. She convinced me that the risk was worth it and so we decided to start dating.
I was so nervous when I told Peter that I had feelings for him. I thought that Peter might be interested in me but he was hard to read. But when we went on the walk I felt so happy, it felt like a long time coming.
Two days later, Malia flew home to Portland for two weeks for Christmas break. When she came back to San Francisco we went on our first preplanned date to the Asian Art Museum and then to Zuni Cafe for dinner.
Peter swears he did not arrange this, but we ended up in a very nice corner table at Zuni Cafe. It felt very romantic.
It did not take very long for me to get over my worry about the risk to our friendship. A few months in to our relationship and I was already feeling that Malia was the one.
Dating Highlights
Our Engagement
I had planned on proposing on our one year dating anniversary, Friday December 19th, the date that Malia first asked me out. I expected the ring at the beginning of that week, but it was delayed and then delayed again, so I only picked up the ring in the early afternoon on the 19th. I was more nervous about getting the ring than actually proposing.
We went to a nice restaurant in the Mission to celebrate our anniversary. We had a great time, with nice wine and a delicious meal. After dinner we went back to Malia’s apartment. I had a little anniversary gift for her of some stationery. When I gave her the gift she joked, “this is too heavy to be a ring.” After she opened the stationary I told her I had one other gift for her and then I proposed. She was not expecting that I was going to propose that night!
I would never have made that joke if I thought that Peter already had the ring.
What’s Next
It is still sometimes crazy to think how much our relationship has changed over the last four years. Neither of us could have imagined that we would fall in love and get married when we had that first conversation. We are so excited for our new life together in San Francisco. And we are excited for all of our friends and family to celebrate with us at our wedding in August!
It is very funny that the first extended conversation that I had with my future husband was about the Money Stuff newsletter!